[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to the Human Factor. I'm Kimberly diamond, and today we're talking about real challenges and real wins behind building strong teams. You're watching now Media Television.
Welcome to the Human Factor, where we explore people issues that shape workplace culture, performance and leadership. I'm your host, Kim Diamond. Today we're joined by a powerful voice in HR and organizational management, Fakita Poindexter, the CEO of Poindexter Consulting Group and one of the Nation's most respected HR and DEI experts. For more than 30 years, she has been known as the HR Fixer, specializing in compliance investigations, executive coaching, and crisis management.
Her work has helped companies prevent lawsuits, strengthen leadership, and create equitable systems that actually work.
Pakita has served as an expert witness, policy advisor in the past and past president of NA WBO of California, earning national recognition for integrity and fearless leadership. Welcome to the show Vakita.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Yes.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: Well, today I'd like to unpack a few items that, that we have outlined, and I think they're super important. So I thought we'd like to start with the workplace environment and favoritism and how that can be very destructive or disruptive to a work environment. So in your opinion, why is favoritism, you know, something that's damaging to trust?
[00:01:29] Speaker B: I think favoritism is damaging whether it's work or personal, but especially within the workplace. And I think, you know, there's a misperception of favoritism. Excuse me. A lot of times it's leaders have a tendency to really focus in on the individuals that are performing. And so then the other individuals may perceive it as, oh, well, that's your favorite employee.
So it's a perception, but it's not always reality. Now, I'm not saying that it does not exist within the workplace, but we have a tendency to lean into as leaders, the individuals that we know that we can count on, depend on and getting the work done.
And so for those that may not be up to that speed, they may view that or perceive that to be differently. And then it's just a trickle effect.
They start to feel that, okay, well, this employee is getting better benefits, better this, better that, you know, know better assignments, there may be more flexibility. And 90% of times that's just not reality.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: Right. And so that's kind of where that favoritism comes in. They start to, you know, who identifying it? Sometimes leaders don't employees see it, you know, so what specific signs outside of, you know, maybe special projects, would you say that there are those Signs of favoritism?
[00:02:42] Speaker B: Well, there are now, you know, don't. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying. There are times when it definitely is happening within the workplace.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: Right.
[00:02:49] Speaker B: Excuse me. And so some of the things that I think that employees are looking or their leaders can see when they're looking at favoritism is who is the one that's always getting selected?
Not necessarily just for projects.
If we have standard operating policies, HR policies and procedures, or operational policies, is this employee able to kind of get away with more than the average? So, for example, attendance, if you have a strict attendance policy, but then we see that this individual has been absent more than others, and then maybe there's disciplinary action or coaching or counseling that one employee is receiving that another one's not receiving. That could be, you know, a key indicator. I think the biggest thing to avoid some of this is to make sure that you're consistent across the board. What you do for one, you must do for all, regardless of performance. And I think the biggest caveat that gets leaders in trouble is they base their decisions based off of performance. And you can't do that.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: Right. Okay. And I totally agree. And you do see it. And sometimes, you know, you wonder. And I, as an employee that's been, you know, in both sides of that, I suppose you, you know, I don't know about the. The leaders in the room, but it can often be very obvious. Right. And sometimes it's weird because I've seen leaders in these types of positions, and they don't, for whatever reason, they're either choosing not to recognize it or they don't recognize it. But it's. It's very like. It's almost like really like you're sitting. Have you. You're sitting at that table with everybody. You're like, really?
[00:04:16] Speaker B: Okay, so there are times where it's blatantly obvious. Right. And some leaders, unfortunately, I mean, you have good leadership and you have bad leadership, and sometimes they do it with a strategic approach that doesn't work, and it kind of backs fires on them. So some leaders will intentionally pick out individuals to, you know, make them the favorite, so to speak. But then what happens is you just kill the morale of your whole entire team. So often, I mean, it does happen. I just don't think that it happens as frequently as people seem to think. But you do have some. Some not so great leaders out there as well, Right?
[00:04:55] Speaker A: Right. Fortunately. Well, can you share a story where removing favoritism helped a team work better together?
[00:05:02] Speaker B: Absolutely. And so, so One of the things that we like to pride ourselves on is really making sure that we're consistent across the board. And it doesn't really matter what your position is, whether you're the CEO or you know, the janitor. Right. Everybody needs to be treated with the same dignity and respect.
And so we have.
I think one of the cases that comes to mind is I had an employee that worked for a particular organization, had been with the company for some time now, had a bunch of changes in leadership, was one of the top performers, but really had a good relationship with the previous supervisor. And that previous supervisor went on and transitioned onto something else. The new supervisor that came in didn't view the employee's work like the previous supervisor. So it created some tension. And so anytime that you come in as a new leader, sometimes you're bringing in new team members that, you know, you worked with and everything like that. So not taking into consideration the timeline and the expertise that expertise that this particular employee had brought in. New individuals that didn't have the understanding of the organization, the environment, the culture, and really kind of just lean toward that individual. Because you do business and you work with people that you know like and trust. And so it's the trust factor. And so really had to get the leader and the, and both employees to be able to understand. This is not a personality conflict. This is not an HR matter. This is just a simple situation where we need to sit down, have some conversations, talk a little bit about what the expectations are, meet with your team, learn them like you did, establishing this relationship and build the relationship and the culture turned around where both of these employees are stellar employees, they're still working with the organization and this particular leader has brought the two of them together and they're just a phenomenal team as leadership, I mean promoted one, the next one is upward promotion at the beginning of the year. So just back to old fashioned communication and setting the expectations, I think is what changed that situation around.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: Now that's wonderful. That's really, that's great because you can see it go different ways. And I talk to a lot of candidates who've moved on from positions because of something of that nature. Right. They someone else comes in, their original leader has moved on, there's a clash and sometimes they are able to work it out and sometimes they make transitions away because of it.
[00:07:22] Speaker B: And oftentimes I believe I'm a firm believer, I mean, I've been doing this for so long. I'm a firm believer that situations can be resolved if you deal with them quickly, but if you don't and they sit back and they escalate, then it just turns into a situation where somebody's going to create an exit strategy. Is that extra strategy going to be one where it's going to involve litigation because upset people are who sues? Right. You know, so how do, how do you. And even if it does turn into an exit strategy, how do you do it with grace and be able to get people out without compromising the organization and leave the employee whole in the process of that exit as well?
[00:07:58] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. Thank you for that.
Well, how can leaders make sure everyone feels valued and seen, not just a chosen few? And we talked about this. You said consistency across the board. Is there any other, I would say, communication efforts that you, they can implement to make sure that people are feeling, you know, valued and seen consistently across the board?
[00:08:24] Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely. I think one of the things that leaders can do is check in with your people.
Right.
And consistency. Right. So whatever processes that you put in place, you have to be consistent. It can't be, okay, I'm just going to do this one time and then that's it. Because then now you've eroded trust. And so you have to be able to do is check in with your people, see how they were doing, not just from a work perspective, but from a personal perspective. Hey, just want to see how things are going. Is there anything that you need any help with? You know, just how are you? Right.
Because now you're building trust. Right.
Some of the traits of good leadership is you want to be able to be able to know that your team is going to show up for you no matter what. Right. And that's only going to be done by trust. They have to be able to trust you. Trusting you means that you trust them. And so regular check ins, being consistent, treating everybody the same, not having differential treatment, making sure that your communication, you really need to be able to understand the communication style of everybody in your team. They're not all square pegs that fit in round holes, you know, so how you communicate with one individual, that individual may not be able to receive that particular information.
So you need to really be able to do your due diligence. I mean, you know, I love sports, so I equate it to, you know, football. You have to have a good offense and a good defense, but you have to know the attributes of every individual that's on your team. And that takes time. But you have to be willing to invest the time. It's cheaper, more advantageous to invest the time. Than have high turnover because you're on this vicious cycle of recruiting.
[00:09:58] Speaker A: I agree. And yeah, I've seen it in the corporations that I've worked in. I mean, I've actually felt it as a person where I could see that there was a different treatment going on, like I mentioned earlier. And so when you're feeling like that, what's the best approach from the employee standpoint? Who's feeling like they're being overlooked or ignored?
[00:10:19] Speaker B: Talk about it.
And I think that's. We're in this technology generation where no one wants to have old fashioned communication. We want to send text messages, emails, IMs, DMs, every kind of m. Instead of opening up your mouth and having old fashioned communication because so much gets lost in the translation of a text message or an email, pick up the phone, they still exist, not just for texting and have a conversation with your manager or supervisor. And if that's a challenge, you know, because typically they're. The issue is the person that you have an issue with. That is what HR is there for. They're like the mediators to be able to say they're not just the company people. And I really hope that that resonates with the audience is they're not just the company people. They are there to make sure that employer and employee can have a mutual consenting relationship that's beneficial and advantageous for all. You need to be able to express those currents and concerns. Not to the point where you turn into this raging volcano and now you're ready to explode. So you need to be a little bit more proactive and say, let's see, I'm struggling with my supervisor. I don't think that we're on the same page. You need to come to the table with emotions in check. You know, have, you know, fact driven information that I feel. Because companies and individuals are not responsible for how you feel.
And so we're concerned about how you feel, but we're not responsible for how you feel. And let's talk about the issue. Let's come up with resolution and be prepared to come with resolution. That's going to be beneficial for you as well. What are you looking for? How do you want this situation to be resolved?
[00:11:49] Speaker A: Right. And that's, that's very wise advice because you're right. A lot of people come to the table later when their emotions are overflowing and they're sometimes the communication is just a mess because of that.
Well, we want to keep this conversation going. So coming up, we're going to explore another Hidden culture, killer office gossip and how it spreads fear and instability faster than most leaders realize. Don't forget, you can catch all your NOW Media Television programs and favorites on Roku TV app. Stay with us, we'll be right back.
We'll be right back with more stories, insights and real world strategies for leading with purpose.
This is the Human Factor on NOW Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Kimberly diamond and you're watching the Human Factor on NOW Media Television. Let's dive back into today's conversation.
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Welcome back to the Human Factor. We're here with Faqita Poindexter discussing one of the most toxic and underestimated threats in the workplace. Rumors.
Faeda gossip can be very damaging and create fear and fracture trust.
Why do you think gossip starts so easily and even among the good people?
[00:13:33] Speaker B: Unfortunately, I think people like to hear negative information.
I think that's part of the culture and the part of the times that we're living in currently.
It's unfortunate, it does kill morale, it kills a culture within the organization. But it's easier to believe something that's negative than something that's positive. And so I think that once people hear it, then it just, it's just part of the rumor mill.
I think some of the different ways that an organization can counter that is you need to have a strong policy.
And I talk about policies and procedures not from a hammer perspective, but it sets the tone and it sets the expectations of what the organization will tolerate and what they don't tolerate. And so I think gossip is one of those that could just be very detrimental to any organization.
Excuse me. We see it not just in business, but I mean, look at some of the things that happens within our schools and the violence that are taking place not just in schools but in organizations as well. And a lot of that stems from gossip, which turns into bullying, which then turns into a whole plethora of challenges.
[00:14:35] Speaker A: Exactly. It harms morale and relationships. And now it's like, look at the media components that, you know, it isn't just standing at the water cooler and having a, you know, quote unquote conversation now, it's like it's everywhere and it makes people feel very uncomfortable. And like you said, it can really damage relationships. Well, do you have a. An example of a company that stopped the gossip like you were talking about, like putting, you know, instituting some sort of a policy around that?
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Yeah. And so we write strong gossip policies and code of conduct. So gossiping would fall within our code of conduct policy. And the code of conduct policy is very detailed, very thorough. Thorough. And we have a zero tolerance. There are certain policies that are zero tolerance. Code of conduct would be 1. Sexual harassment. Harassment, discrimination. Those are things that. Zero tolerance. This is not something where we're going to have conversations about it. We're probably going to go down a disciplinary path because of the severity of it. And so when you're talking about gossiping, whether it's regarding customers, vendors, suppliers, or other employees, all of our companies have a zero tolerance on it. And so we deal with this on a daily basis when it comes to code of conduct. So I have one particular client that, you know, they have their employees and, you know, they come together and they. It's not the water cooler talk, but it's similar. And they want to talk about everything. And then they want to what? I mean, everything. Everything that's going on in the world, whether it's political, whether it's anything controversial. Right. And one of the things I say is stay away from controversial subjects. Because as much as you think you know people, you really don't. You don't know their life experiences, you don't know what they've been through. And you commenting on something in the workplace that could be offensive to somebody else creates challenges. And so this particular client, that's exactly what transpired.
Excuse me. We had a group of employees that were talking about something from a controversial subject perspective. Another employee overheard it, was highly offended. Right. Not offended by them, but offended by somebody that worked for them that had endured some of these challenges and then reported it to hr. So we immediately took a hard stance. We coached and developed the leadership, C suite leaders and all the employees. We had a mandatory meeting to say, hey, this is not acceptable. But we didn't come from a punitive perspective. We came from an educational perspective.
And one of the things that I really talked about is this is exactly the scenario is you never know someone else's lifestyle. You never know what somebody else has gone through. People tell you what they want you to know, and that's not always all the facts. So you're saying this impacted these group of individuals. And then when the employees heard it, they were like, I didn't even think about that. Even the leadership was like, I didn't even think about it. Because we're living in this microwave generation where everything has to be quicker and faster. We need to get more stuff done with less hours in a day. And so we got to stop and think about the human that we're dealing with, the human beings that we're dealing with, and how what we do and what we say are impacting them as individuals.
[00:17:31] Speaker A: Exactly, exactly. Because you're right, people don't know what a person's life experience is. Some people are very open and you might become very familiar, but there's many, many people that aren't. And like you said, they're gonna let you know what they want you to know.
So I know it's probably very hard because there is so much going on in the world to be able to, to remember, number one, to curtail those conversations and, or to be a leader and coaching away from those types of conversations because it's so inundating, you know, every day right now because of all the media that we are exposed to at any given moment. You know, it's, you know, before you used to get the information, you know, probably, you know, secondhand, third hand or much later or, you know, when you went home and watched the 6 o' clock news, it's not just popping up on your phone and, you know, all, all that. So it's become much more, much more exposed and then try not to get yourself caught up into that. Yeah, well, it's true.
[00:18:29] Speaker B: But let me just say this. You got to be able to create an environment that's safe for your employees to come talk about some of these challenges that they are experiencing. Right.
Because. Because depending upon the age demographic of your employees, right.
You know, the more mature generation didn't have social media. So they weren't the, the information wasn't so ready, accessible. And so you have to be able to train your employees and coach them and walk them through the process of. Why this is detriment. Because sometimes they don't even think about it. It's because, oh, they see it on social media. So it's got to be factual and it's got to be true.
The more mature generation is the ones that watch the news. The younger generation, they don't watch the news. Right. I mean, I watch it, you know, five, seven, nine.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: Right.
[00:19:11] Speaker B: It's gonna change.
It's the same thing on repeat. It is, but social. But social media is different. So which is another reason why they have the policies and procedures. You need to have a really good social media policy.
What can be discussed in the workplace. This helps curtail these particular problems. But having the policy without going through the implementation on why we had the policy, why it's here to protect people, why it's here to protect the organization is crucial and important. Then it shifts the narrative on sometimes how people are using these different platforms that can be detrimental or hurtful to other folks.
[00:19:46] Speaker A: Exactly. Yes. It should be mindful of what they're repeating that they're here.
Right, Right. Because we all know anymore we don't know what's.
We hardly know what's factual.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: I only know exactly what's factual. Right. In our little, like within 10ft of our body, within our little bubble.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: That's why.
[00:20:07] Speaker A: In our little bubble. Right. That's all we know.
Well, when, when it comes, like you said, so setting boundaries, having a great policy. Is there any other thing, models of healthy communication that leaders can incorporate? You know, is it, is it get togethers to have those kind of touch bases on how's everybody feeling? You know, especially if there's something really.
What do I want to say?
Say there's something in, in the media. Right. With respect to the world in general. And people, you know, people sometimes are very, get very upset by that and, and it's. They try not to show it at work. But you see what I'm saying, like where you're talking about, you know, hey, this, we hear that this is really traumatic. We don't know what that is yet. Right. Every day we don't know. But if it's something that they feel that people might be taking to heart and it might be affecting them personally, you know, like, is that something that leaders should be mindful of?
[00:21:00] Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely. You almost always should be proactive as a leader. Right. And so, and that's staying, you know, abreast of current events, things that are happening in challenging times. Get ahead of it. You know, proact. Being proactive is the best thing that you can possibly do. Call emergency staff meeting. Everybody come together. Whether it's virtual, in person, doesn't matter.
Let employees talk about what they're going through, what they're experiencing. They may not originally open up, but create a safe place for them to be able to share. I have this one client that does it on a regular basis. As soon as something that's happening, it's, let's get ahead of it. Let's make sure that everybody's stable. Let's make sure that everybody is good. I'll give you an example.
In January of this year, Los Angeles had some of the worst wildfires that impacted like hundreds of people. The Pasadena, Altadena, Los Angeles area.
And so immediately this particular client knew that they had employees boots on the ground, but also they had clients that were boots on the ground. One of the first things that they did was let's call emergency meeting. Let's make sure that everybody's good. Let's make sure that. How's everybody processing this? Because it was bad. I mean, it was really, really bad.
And then there became all this dissension. Okay, well, this group is getting better care or treatment versus in this group over here. And so now, because you have a diverse workforce now, people are in their feelings and emotions thinking that these people are the underrepresented communities are not getting the same access as everybody else, not understanding the totality of everything that was going on in that geographic region.
And so had a staff meaning to be able to say, let's everybody get. Keep our emotions in check, let's walk through this. But provided a platform for employees to really talk about how they were feeling irregardless if they agreed with how they were feeling or not. Because sometimes people just need to talk about it to get it out so they feel better. And so that was really beneficial for the employees as far as the leadership as well, because they really be able to. They heard some things that they weren't even aware of from these particular employees that how they were impacted by this, but they didn't even live in Los Angeles Angeles. And so I think making sure that you get ahead of certain current events or, you know, challenging or controversial subjects that you see are coming down the pipeline so that we can keep feelings and emotions at bay so it doesn't have such a detrimental impact on the culture or the environment of the workplace, I think is advantageous. And so that particular policy or procedure has been an ongoing. They do a weekly meeting.
[00:23:32] Speaker A: That's perfect. And there's so many companies right now with the tariff situation where that impacts the business. And then the people in the workforce are concerned, like, how will that impact us now that you know that this is going on? So that's another recent economic change that I think people needed, need to be very open in that, in that communication because I, you know, as a recruiter, I work with, talk to people all the time. And. And those things that actually has impacted quite a Few people from a career perspective.
So it's something that people should. But again, like you said, having that open communication and when things like that come up, that could affect a person's livelihood or feelings or, you know, you don't, you don't know. Maybe people have family. Like when the fire situation, maybe there's people affected, family side, even though it wasn't the employee. Right, right. Well, when it comes to the rumors themselves, what should employees do when they get caught up in the middle of a rumor?
[00:24:28] Speaker B: Well, first of all, somebody has to be the bigger person to say, listen, I don't want to hear it. I don't know if it's factual, if it's coming from the organization, where.
Here's the rumor that I think is one of the biggest one, we're downsizing, we're going to get laid off. I'm losing my job.
Yes, that's the big one. And it's like, okay, everybody press pause. Has that been communicated from the leadership? And it's. So it's all about assumptions and speculations, right?
Like you're talking about the terrorists. We can't get products or whatever, so we're going to have to lay off people or AI. AI is going to replace people.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: Yes, that's the big one, too.
[00:25:05] Speaker B: Everybody just calm down.
[00:25:08] Speaker A: Right?
[00:25:10] Speaker B: You know, and so they, you know, people, it's just nature. It's human. It's human nature. We get in our heads and we go from 0 to 100. And so what I try to do, I advise my clients, is pull it back a little bit, address it. Like you have to address it, because if you don't address it, it's going to spiral. And so the first time I hear of employees that are concerned about layoffs or reduction in forces, we immediately have a meeting to say, listen, I don't know where you're getting this information from, but currently, today, the company has no desire to lay anybody off. Now, if that changes, we will notify you well in advance that that's going to take place. Right. Because we want to make sure that we have created a transition for all of the employees. You know, this, that and the other. And so you have to address the rumors head on.
And so I think one of the things that helps organizations is just don't act like you don't hear it, because what happens is, you know, you tell one person and by the time it gets to the, you know, the 50th of the employee, you know, everybody's losing their job tomorrow. And so I think if Employees can hear from the leadership immediately to say, we don't know where this woman got started. We have no desire. As a matter of fact, we're doing X, Y and Z. We may have to redesign or reallocate or shift priorities, but currently we have no desire to lay people off.
I think that's the best way is to be able to deal with the rumor from the very beginning. Don't just ignore it.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Exactly. Well, Vakita, I want everyone to be able to reach out to you so where can they find you and see more about your consulting work and your training programs.
[00:26:46] Speaker B: Sure. So you can reach
[email protected] also you can catch me on LinkedIn. I frequent there. I'm not a big Instagram and all that Facebook stuff. But definitely reach out to me there. Or you can email
[email protected] Great.
[00:27:02] Speaker A: Thank you. Well, up next, we're going to continue our conversation. We're going to talk about something many employees are afraid of to admit. Is that why people fear hr and wait until problems explode before seeking help. So please stay with us. This is going to be a great topic.
We'll be right back with more stories, insights and real world strategies for leading with purpose.
This is the Human Factor on NOW Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Kimberly diamond and you're watching the Human Factor on NOW Media Television. Let's dive back into today's conversation.
Welcome back to the Human Factor. In this segment, we tackle reality that surpasses as many HR leaders. Employees are often afraid to come forward. They hold on to problems that become crisis and then the damage is much harder to repair, waiting, you know, a long time before they will come forward. So I think we often see that there's a fear of retaliation or possibly not being believed. So I wanted to speak with Fakita on her expertise in this area. And Fakita, why do we think that, you know, employees do wait, you know, sometimes too, too long to have a conversation about something that's concerning them because.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: If they're operating out of fear and, you know, understandably so, they think, you know, as you indicated, fear, retaliation, am I going to lose my job? Is this manager, supervisor going to be punitive?
Is HR not going to believe me? You know, there's this negative connotation associated with hr, which is why I'm not a fan of all these titles. I'm not a fan of cheap people. Officer. You know, I'm just a fan of HR because I think the first word in, in HR is human. I am dealing with human beings that have feelings and emotions like my own.
I am not confused that there have been some not so great HR representatives. But I'm also understanding that that narrative that HR is the company person is not necessarily the truth.
I think when you have a.
When you have a HR team that is focused on making sure that the employees as well as the organization are treated with the same mutual respect, and I think it's fine.
Most employees are afraid to go to HR because investigations will have to take place. We have to research, we have to do our due diligence. And the outcome is not always the way the employee wants it. And so just because you have a grievance or a complaint doesn't mean that the outcome is going to be the way that you want it. From an HR perspective, we're looking at company violations of policies and procedures. We're looking at, you know, legal ramifications. Are there any legal laws that have been broken? We don't. We are not investigating feelings and emotions. We're looking for facts. And there's sometimes a hard time for employees to separate facts from feelings. And so I think that's another reason why they wait before they come in.
Now, from the, from the HR perspective, you also have to be dealing with the individual that is broken or upset or frustrated in this particular time, and how you treat and how you handle them and how you communicate with them through that process is extremely important.
So I think that that's part of the challenges as one reason why people don't feel comfortable coming to hr.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: I agree. And how can HR try, How can HR build that trust and not be perceived? As for the company, is there specific communication styles, communication cadence? How do you see that?
[00:30:26] Speaker B: Well, depending upon the situation, if somebody's coming to you with a discrimination complaint, then there's got to be some compassion, right? You have to be able to, number one, listen. And I think that's the biggest piece you can't automatically go into, well, what's their performance and how have they performing? Is this the way that they, you know that performance and complaints are completely opposite. Now, unless a manager or supervisor is reporting to HR that this person is performing differently or not to expectations, then my response to them is, what do we need to do to put them on the correct trajectory? Do we need to put them on a performance improvement plan? Have you identified what they are not achieving that you would like to achieve? Because the manager is not always right. It's like, this is the job. Here's the description Go do it. But. But that's not the way to do it.
If the employee is complaining about code of conduct or fear of retaliation or a manager whose communication style is harsh, then I need to go in and do my due diligence and have a conversation with the employee here. Give me some examples.
Let me have a conversation with the manager. I'm about 90, 99% of the time can resolve those particular issues if I see that the situation is broken where it can't be fixed. Maybe we reassign them to another manager or supervisor, depending upon the situation. But you got to be compassionate, number one. You got to be willing to listen to understand, not listen to respond. I think that is the biggest issue that people have currently is they listen to respond. And I'm looking for information.
Tell me, what is the issue outside of your feelings and emotions? If I. And what type of resolution do you want? What are you looking for? And if it's reasonable and within, you know, guidelines or policies or procedures, then let's talk about resolution. But not. I'm not really one to get caught up in a lot of feelings and emotions. And sometimes for employees, that's hard for them to separate, understandably so, because there's the ones that are dealing with it on a daily basis. So compassion, communication, really trying to understand and what is the resolution to the problem?
[00:32:25] Speaker A: Because I think you probably do get that more often than not. You know, I feel this way. And you're like, why? You know, trying to actually sometimes gathering those examples, sometimes I can see might be hard because sometimes an employee might feel something that they can't really put data to, right? It's in. In. In their mind. Right. So I think it's great that you coach them through what does this actually mean. So if they're feeling like this person is communicating harshly with them, where they might come to you and say, I feel like they're being mean to me.
[00:32:59] Speaker B: Right? Which is what I get all the time.
And I try to. I try to resonate with the employee to say, listen, I've been an employee, right? And. And so when. When I tell them, because I will say that I'm not responsible for how you feel. And I'll get an expression like, wait, what? And I. And I say this all the time. I understand that's a hard statement because when somebody, when a manager told me that, I was like, what do you mean you're not responsible for how I feel? You know, I was, I was taken back by that. And so. But you have to make it personal. Like, you have to be able to show them, listen, I have been in your shoes, so let's unpack this a little bit. And so when I tell them that, you know, they're like, oh, okay, because I'm not responsible for how you feel. But what I am responsible for is making sure that you work in an environment where you feel like you can be productive and achieve what you're trying to achieve through the trajectory of your career path. So how can I help you with that? And I've had employees come back to me and say, you know what? That was so refreshing.
I said, because feelings change. My feelings may change after I have another cup of coffee. And so I can't manage your feelings, but I can manage the problem within the workplace. And then they receive that, creating that.
[00:34:04] Speaker A: Feeling that you're getting. What? You know. Exactly. So I can see that that. That's. That's a great approach.
And I think I've worked with a lot of wonderful HR people, and I think that they have taken that approach.
And so I'm sure that's part of your experience, which, you know, very helpful for leaders and employees. Okay, well, do you have an example where. Where somebody reported something early and it prevented something major from happening?
[00:34:36] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I get those on a daily basis. And so, like, you know, currently, right now, you know, with the. With the times that we're kind of living. Living in, everybody's really. And I don't like using the word hypersensitive, but I'm from that mature, mature generation, so they are a little bit more hypersensitive, so to speak.
Everything right now is irritating everybody. And so, you know, because of tariffs, because of, you know, food, because of just. Just everything. So people are showing up at work a little bit more sensitive, and they're a little bit more like the patience in dealing with everyone that they should be.
So I got a phone call yesterday, as a matter of fact, from an employee that says, I don't feel like I don't feel. And again, this is how all the conversations start is I don't feel like I'm getting the support that I need from my manager or supervisor. And so I said, okay, let's talk about that. What support are you looking for that you think, not feel that you think you are not getting? Well, I've got this project. They're not accessible. I've reached out. You know, then they went through this whole plethora, and so I kind of dissected every single scenario that they gave where they felt as though that they weren't getting that support.
And what it boiled down to it a long, long story short is the manager or supervisor was accessible, but they had enough trust in the employee that the employee could facilitate that with little guidance.
And what the employee was actually saying is, where I am currently with everything that's going on in my life, I need some more support.
And so you're intertwining personal with professional.
And so this employee needed the manager and the manager was like, you got this. And so I had to talk to both of them to say, okay, manager, you need to be able to discern when an employee is reaching out to you for more.
I hate using the word emotional support, but mental health support versus just, you know, productivity work.
[00:36:41] Speaker A: Right.
[00:36:41] Speaker B: And then the manager was able to explain, I trust you, I know you've got this. And so it elevated the employee because the employee didn't feel like the manager felt that way.
[00:36:52] Speaker A: Oh, I'll see there Sometimes just a matter of communication, right?
[00:36:58] Speaker B: All in communication.
[00:37:00] Speaker A: Exactly. Well, coming up, we're going to close with a powerful personal topic. The invisible emotional load women carry at work and how workplace can finally. How workplaces can finally address it. Don't forget to catch all your favorite NOW Media Television programs on your Roku TV app. Stay with us.
We'll be right back with more stories, insights and real world strategies for leading with purpose.
This is the Human Factor on NOW Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Kimberly diamond and you're watching the Human Factor on NOW Media Television. Let's dive back into today's conversation.
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So we're back. And welcome. So in this final segment, we are exploring deep and often unspoken reality. The invisible load women carry at work and at home. How the emotional burden affects performance, well being, long term leadership potential, and yet frequently goes unseen and unsupported.
So I'm very excited to continue this conversation with Vaquita Vikita. Often women struggle. They juggle everything.
And sometimes certain things are hindered in that process.
So why do you feel like women feel like they have to hold everything together, work and home?
[00:38:48] Speaker B: Well, because we've been taught we can do it and have it all, which is not reality. Right.
Listen, and I'm a per. You know, personally, that I understand that 100. You know, being a woman, being a leader, you know, running an organization. I mean, I started my firm as a result of my son wasn't expected to live to be 10. And so I left corporate America because they said I couldn't telework. So, you know, I operated as a caretaker, a CEO, a moment.
But I think women, at the end of the day, we just get it done by any means necessary. And by any means necessary, that means jeopardizing our own health, our own welfare, our own peace of mind.
And we've got to shift that narrative because it's not good for us.
But I mean, just being a wife, a mother, you know, that's just who we are. I think it's just how we're bred.
But it does take a toll. More women are having heart attacks, more women are having strokes. More women are suffering from mental health challenges.
So we ought to do things a little bit differently.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: Yes. And we did. We did struggle a long time to get into the workforce where we are now. And so with that comes, you know, the additional responsibilities, you know, especially if they're in a strong leadership role where, you know, they're leading a bunch of people, then they're going home and taking care of their children.
So it's emotional, it's physical. You know, how do companies view that? Look at that. When you're looking at someone from a performance perspective. In other words, a female woman who's got all these responsibilities at work and at home looking to excel in the career space. Right. Because like you said, more women are having strokes and heart attacks and there's, you know, there's this pressure. How do they support that? I mean, it's. I know that men do it too, but I think men generally will take the weight of their thoughts and. And their pressures at work and. Right. And so, because like you said, we are kind of taught to take it all on, but how do you think companies can do. Do better in understanding that people. Women want to thrive, too?
And there's that extra. Potentially that extra emotional and physical challenge.
[00:40:58] Speaker B: Sure. So I think a couple things. One, I think what women need to clearly identify is your passion. Right. Are you doing the work just to build the trajectory of your career path or your cv, or are you doing the work that's important to you because once you are doing, once you're doing your passion, it doesn't become as physically exhausting. Right. Versus you're trying to just achieve. Climbing this corporate ladder. The corporate ladder is not for everybody. You know, entrepreneurship could. Could be your. Your way to go or, you know, the corporate. So I think one. Women, yes. We've had to fight in places that others weren't able to get to. You know, we have to have certain laws put in place to make sure that if we're doing the same identical job that a man is doing, that we get the same amount of pay, if we got the same skill set, the same education, the same experience, we shouldn't be treated differently because we're, because we're women or even a step further, you know, we're women of color. So I think that one. We have to be able to identify what is it that it is that we are trying to achieve. Whether it's corporate, whether it's outside of corporate, whether it's entrepreneurship or whatever that is your philanthropic work. What is it that that resonates with you? And so corporations, what they can. We've seen a shift in the dynamics of how corporations are responding to women in leadership. They put some things into place, not just women, but just in leadership, period. They're understanding the mental health. They're putting together some really good employee assistance programs because men are having these challenges as well. It's just highly reported more because it happens to be women, you know, that are having more heart attacks and strokes. And that's because we're also caretakers. And so now we have aging parents that we're taking care of. And this is just not happening with, you know, the more mature generation that, you know, the baby boomers, these are happening to younger. The younger generations as well because their parents are aging. And so it's typically, it has always typically been more women that were in the caretaker role, but now we're seeing it's more men that's in the caretaking role. So I think, as you know, the senior leadership, the C suite leaders, when you have both capacities operating in dual roles, now we're starting to see a little bit more leniency, a little bit more grace, a little bit more understanding that, oh, you have been dealing with this and it's, you know, for, you know, men are saying women have been dealing with this and women are just doing it and we make it look so easy and so natural. Where men now are stepping into somebody's role, whether it's being a Single parent, whether it's been a caretaker and they're struggling.
Right. And so in some of our, some of our organizations, we really have what's like this partnership to help balance that when it comes to employee assistance program. So I think that's one thing that some organizations can be able to do is to be able to provide these resources for women and men to be able to navigate some of the complexities that are taking place in the workplace. But most importantly, women, we have got to identify what we can do and what we can't do and take that cape off because we are not Superwoman.
[00:43:52] Speaker A: That's the pro. I think that's the challenge. Right. And I think you're right. More men are taking on those caretaker roles, single parent roles. And so they're seeing the balance that we bought. You know, that's, that's, that's. You need to have where it, where it was in, you know, in our generation younger, the women did this and men did that. Now everybody does everything, so.
Yes, exactly. Well, how can, how can leaders make sure that, that women are heard and supported and respected when they, you know, are facing some of these challenges? Is there like you talked about? I mean, I think that, you know, do they create, you know, groups? You know, I know that we've done that in the past when DEI was really ramping up. But you know, support groups, right. People that can just sit and talk about it. Is that something that you promote with your, with your, with your organizations?
[00:44:45] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah, it is. I think you do need to have these different groups, but I think you also need to have more women in leadership. I think that, I think that's part of the challenge. Right. I think that you can't have a male dominated C suite. You can't have a male dominated board of directors. You can't have, you know, all these male dominated organizations. There are great women out there that are running, that are CEOs of organizations that run a, run stellar organizations. So there are attributes that women have that men just don't have.
[00:45:16] Speaker A: Right.
[00:45:17] Speaker B: And vice versa. I mean, that's just reality. That's why we're created differently. But I think that your leadership team needs to be a reflection of your customer base and your employee base. And it's not one sided. And so I think having more women in leadership helps open up the door to create a, an organization that can operate at its full capacity because you're going to have male and female. So I think that's number one.
Women are more emotional creatures. That's what we're, you know, that's what they say. And I don't think that we're emotional. I think we're just more emotionally in tune to whatever someone else is going through because, you know, we're mothers or this, that and the other. So I think we're able to identify and discern if there are challenges that are happening within the workplace that are impacting people, and we're able to, you know, jump on it and deal with it right away.
So I think having more women in leadership is crucial. I think also putting together some programs, support groups, and a strong employee assistance program to be able to provide resources, some coaching, and developing programs that women can be able to lead as well. So I think having some of those core fundamentals are important to organizations. One thing that organizations like to do, they want to make sure they offer great benefits. Health insurance, dental insurance, visual insurance, 401k, 403b, you know, all of that. But there are so many other resources that are available that cost you a fraction of what that cost you to be able to provide some of these resources to help your, Your leadership and your women to be able to excel in these particular positions.
[00:46:50] Speaker A: And then how do women set boundaries without feeling guilty? I mean, you know, some. You know, at some point you need to basically say no to something. Right. Based on the fact that you just can't balance it off.
Yeah.
[00:47:02] Speaker B: And in a way, and I honestly speak from personal experience.
Excuse me, I wasn't the one that said no. Right. I was the one that always put everything and everybody before myself. And so trying to grow a business, trying to get kids through college, you know, being a caretaker, you know, I was the one that had that cape on. I mean, I put it on my social media. You know, here I am, I'm doing it again. But at the end of the day, there was one person that was suffering. That was me, my health and everything like that. Finally, I got to a point that I said, because I travel a lot, and I really paid attention one day to the flight attendant. She said, before you put on somebody else's mask, put your mask on first.
And that was a shift for me. Right. Because we hear it and we think about an emergency. Well, my life is an emergency if I don't take care of it. And so what I began to do is say, what are the core things that are important to me? Right. What is my legacy going to be when I leave this planet? What is the work that I want to be able to do? And then I began to focus on that. I say no to a lot of things. Originally, I didn't say no to anything. The more the barrier. Right. But now it's, you have to really identify what it is that you want to be able to do and what it is that you want to be able to achieve. And then it's no is okay. No is a good thing. And so, and you have to take time for yourself. You have to be able to take care of your health, take care of your mental health, take care of your physical health.
You have to, you just have to, like Nike says, you just have to do it. You have to take care of you first because you're no good to your team or anybody else if you don't.
[00:48:35] Speaker A: If you don't, family and otherwise. Right? Exactly.
Yes.
[00:48:40] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:48:41] Speaker A: Well, Makita, this is obviously this has been a wonderful conversation and I want to make sure that people know where to find you so that they can follow you, reach out to you, you know, get your advice. So let us know where can we, where can they connect with you?
[00:48:55] Speaker B: Absolutely. You can reach
[email protected] our website is pcghr.net or connect with me on LinkedIn.
[00:49:03] Speaker A: Awesome. Well, thank you again for joining us today. I appreciate it so much. Vikita, your honesty, your expertise and the clarity you bring to the complex workplace and challenges your insights remind us that fairness builds trust, communication does shape culture, psychological safety, preventing crisis, supporting women. All of these things are so important to an organization. And we really appreciate your insight on that today. So to our viewers, you know, thank you for joining us. Remember, the workplace is where you want to thrive. When people do, you'll see. What you'll see next is everyone will join together and it's all about that human factor. Thank you for joining.
